What If I Succeed?

Fear of failure, the most human of concerns. “What if I fail?” “What if it doesn't work?” “What if I can't do it?” Are these the thoughts that you give space to in your head? Have you found that you are not willing to try something for fear of failing? “Who am I to do this?” “I don't even know how.” “It probably won't work.”

 Can you feel that? The rumination of negative thoughts and energy that you permit to wash over you and disallow your potential. Full reveal here, this has been me more times than I care to admit. Harder yet, because I am a Coach who helps women get clear and confident to live life in a more calm way, comfortable in their own skin and connected to self-energy.

 However, even as I have these doubting thoughts, I have a deeper knowing: I’m on the right path. How do I know? Because to be my most authentic self, and offer best service to my clients, I spend a great amount of time reflecting, thinking deeply, planning for and envisioning their best success…which comes from my best success. My deep knowing offers me relief and comfort. And, my clients tell me that I help them, they thank me, they tell me they are so grateful; some even tell me “I love you.”

 Still, fear of failure shows her mean face to me sometimes. Why don’t I believe my clients? Do I think they’re lying? Why do I believe ‘fear of failure?’ In the frequent alone-time I have as a Coach, either in my office or while walking Mr. Cooper to expend his crazy dog-energy, I Breathe, Open, Allow and Think [my ‘B.O.A.T.’ meditation!] and ask myself this: So, what if I fail? What does it mean if I do? What would happen? In my mature middle years, having spent a decade of exploration and commitment to enlightened self-love, I know that there is no failure. Not even spectacular ones. There is only trial-and-error; try, try-again; start/stop-start/stop; but all the while, keep putting one foot in front of the other, breathe and know that I’m on the right path, my path.

 These days, I ask myself a different question: What if I succeed? When I ask that, usually I have a subtle breath-intake and shudder, fear again? Oh my, what if I succeed? What if I succeed in a big way? What then? Would I be revealed, my secret out? What if my message of self-love and acceptance leaks out to millions? Or, what if just one person-the exact person who needs to hear it-receives my message and believes? Like the sobbing mother of the murdered adult son whom I met on a bus and spoke with…two years later she called me again because I had helped her feel better in that moment. What if I fail?