How many years did I put my own well-being in the hands of others? My parents, my husband, my boss, friends, even at times my children. I complained about so much. I railed out, I felt worried and then anxious, sad and then depressed.
Even as I acted out, I hated myself for being that way. When anyone told me to relax, I had a fit, a literal fit. Or sometimes, I felt such rage I would get very quiet, squint my eyes, lower my voice and say, "Don't tell me to relax." In those moments, I felt almost possessed. Today, I know it was my soul. She was so hurt, she was doing the best she could but always, to her, it was never enough. She tried and tried, she tried harder and harder but it just never seemed to be good enough. She suffered and shriveled. She felt alone did not know what to do.
In those days, I knew nothing about self-love or breathing, indeed I mocked these things refusing to believe there could be substance there. Then, I had no idea that these were tools that could change my life.
Today, after a journey of nearly two decades, I have tools that I use daily for myself and with my clients. Today, I teach the opportunity for finding control over your own life by taking responsibility for your well-being. When you take responsibility for your own well-being, your choices and your actions, things are 100% in your control (corollary: when you put your well-being into anyone else's hands, you feel out of control).
Look at the different areas of your life, go in and explore. We are multifaceted beings, take time to review and assess how you are doing in the many areas of your life-- personal, spiritual, health, personal, spiritual, health, family, fun, career. When you do this, you will feel the experience of being responsible for your own well-being. You will be in charge; you will be in control. Think about well-being as an adjective, as in 'a well-being day.' Ask yourself, "What kind of well-being day am I having today?" Try to create a habit of asking yourself this question three times daily. You can also focus on a certain area as in, "What kind of spiritual well-being day am I having today?" If you answer that you are having a mediocre or bad spiritual well-being day, then ask yourself, "What can I do right now to raise my spiritual well-being?"
When you come to awareness about your well-being feeling, you bring control to life in the way you have always sought. Practice, practice, practice. Do whatever you need to create the habit of asking yourself about your own well-being. And celebrate the control that you feel from having taken responsibility for self. Your soul will dance and sing. She is waiting for you to take back the reins of your life.