Something Big Is Coming

Do you remember Excitement? The feeling of joy and giggles and butterflies in your stomach, when you had delicious anticipation of your birthday party or a big holiday coming? What happened to that buoyant feeling? When did Excitement turn to Anxiety for you? Was it when expectations were unmet? Was it when disappointments crept in? Was it when play turned to chores and obligations turned to overwhelm?

Anxiety can be the shadow side of Excitement. ‘So much’ as a child can turn to ‘too much’ as a young adult when there is already a lot evolving in your mind, body and soul. Is Anxiety, then, familiar to you? Whether or not you are diagnosed with a clinical mental health disorder, Anxiety can be an unwanted newcomer within. Or, for some, the newcomer may have turned into the guest who never leaves. Can you see this picture? You feel Excitement about Something Big Coming and Excitement gets filled with questions, you get flooded with negative thoughts. Then Overwhelm draws dark curtains, your mind closes to Opportunity, Joy and Possibility, and you lose yourself. Can you feel the shrouded unrequited feeling? 

You see it, feel it, shrug your shoulders and allow it to stay over there, just out of reach. But what if it was within reach? What if you stood up straight and tall, stretched out your arm in front of you as far as it could go, opened your hand wide and felt the tip of your fingers touch it? What if, when you touch it, you breathe and throw back the curtains? What if the light begins to flood in and you feel a spark sizzle up your arm, travel throughout your body and shock your heart? What if you give yourself permission to feel Excitement again, to discover your authentic you? Something Big is Coming.

Don’t fear it. Don’t block it. Don’t stay behind the dark, drawn curtains. You’re on the stage behind the curtain, head down praying, butterflies inciting, “Is it my turn now?” Breathe deeply, oxygenate your internal systems, stand up straight and tall, reach out both of your arms in front of you-as far as they can go-open your hands wide and feel the spark. Curtain up! Fear not, feel Excited. Something Big is Coming.

Awe can be the light side of Excitement. But ‘Awe,’ you say? That’s not for me. I’m not saintly. I’m not larger than life, or better than anyone else or even truly better than my own thoughts allow. But Awe can be for you if you breathe deeply, get quiet inside and listen. Feel the stirrings of your child Soul. Breathe again, get quieter still and listen even more deeply. Your child Soul prays for Excitement again. Help her throw back the dark curtains, feel the spark, jump for Joy, imagine the Possibilities and know Awe. Dig deep. Find your Truth. Choose, decide, commit now. Something Big is Coming. Step out and let Awe in.

I am Enough

But am I? Am I enough? How can I believe this when others appear to be doing so much more, accomplishing so much more, earning so much more? I torture myself; thoughts racing through my consciousness, asking but knowing, deep down. “No, you are not.” If you were, you would be getting more ‘right,’ accomplishing more, having wider impact, earning more money, and be more well-known. Abject misery creeps in, landing in the recesses of the mind. I breathe.

Am I a fraud, then? Do I not tell my clients and others that ‘more’ for the sake of More is not better? Am I being disingenuous when I proclaim that ‘deeper’ is better? Is it not true, then, that we need people to go deeper? Each one of us, in our own way, in whatever area sparks imagination and interest; each has the opportunity to drill down below the surface, below the façade of our lives. To get to the core, the deepest place of desire, the soul. To the place of personal soul-connectedness that generates personal authenticity. The authenticity that creates ‘enough-ness,’ the state of mind that repairs our state of being. And, is it not incumbent, now more than ever, to be in a repaired state of being?

The answer is Yes! Yes, to all! Yes, it is incumbent for each and every soul on earth to go deep, deeper still, to seek and find the core. To breathe and love and repair the cracks and the very sinew that runs through and holds together the body; to find your place of enough-ness. Be brave! Scratch your surface, find a crack, allow light to shine in. Do not be afraid of the light. Just allow the light to shine through, go deep and seep in. The only thing that will happen is that there will be light there! There will be light in your darkness if you allow it. Then, it is there in that place of repair, of healing that you can step out and shine. And in that light, you can know, you are enough.

Let us each take whatever responsibility we need to in order to claim enough-ness, to feel enough, to really know we are enough so that we can be the ‘more’ we seek. What, then, will you do with your enough-ness? What will you share, what light will you then shed for others, to light their way? Get clear, get confident, stand in your light; shine and lead. Our world needs you to feel enough, to be enough and to shine your personal light of impact.

“My Well-Being, My Responsibility”

How many years did I put my own well-being in the hands of others? My parents, my husband, my boss, friends, even at times my children. I complained about so much. I railed out, I felt worried and then anxious, sad and then depressed.

Even as I acted out, I hated myself for being that way. When anyone told me to relax, I had a fit, a literal fit. Or sometimes, I felt such rage I would get very quiet, squint my eyes, lower my voice and say, "Don't tell me to relax." In those moments, I felt almost possessed. Today, I know it was my soul. She was so hurt, she was doing the best she could but always, to her, it was never enough. She tried and tried, she tried harder and harder but it just never seemed to be good enough. She suffered and shriveled. She felt alone did not know what to do.

In those days, I knew nothing about self-love or breathing, indeed I mocked these things refusing to believe there could be substance there. Then, I had no idea that these were tools that could change my life.

Today, after a journey of nearly two decades, I have tools that I use daily for myself and with my clients. Today, I teach the opportunity for finding control over your own life by taking responsibility for your well-being. When you take responsibility for your own well-being, your choices and your actions, things are 100% in your control (corollary: when you put your well-being into anyone else's hands, you feel out of control).

Look at the different areas of your life, go in and explore. We are multifaceted beings, take time to review and assess how you are doing in the many areas of your life-- personal, spiritual, health, personal, spiritual, health, family, fun, career. When you do this, you will feel the experience of being responsible for your own well-being. You will be in charge; you will be in control. Think about well-being as an adjective, as in 'a well-being day.' Ask yourself, "What kind of well-being day am I having today?" Try to create a habit of asking yourself this question three times daily. You can also focus on a certain area as in, "What kind of spiritual well-being day am I having today?" If you answer that you are having a mediocre or bad spiritual well-being day, then ask yourself, "What can I do right now to raise my spiritual well-being?"

When you come to awareness about your well-being feeling, you bring control to life in the way you have always sought. Practice, practice, practice. Do whatever you need to create the habit of asking yourself about your own well-being. And celebrate the control that you feel from having taken responsibility for self. Your soul will dance and sing. She is waiting for you to take back the reins of your life.