"Susan, how did you do it!? How did you become this new person, positive all the time? How are you being calm all the time now?"

These questions followed me for years after I made just one decision. Just one yearning thought led to a decision to change that sparked my own journey of exploration into a new way of being. That thought was: I want to feel better, than thisIS THIS A THOUGHT THAT PLAGUES YOU?

Following is a narrative of my journey crossing many Bridges. I share my story openly here to show you how I changed, how I see things and the Tools I use to help others feel better, than this-NOW. 

On a personal note, I know the moment my journey began. It was April 19, 1995, the night of the Oklahoma bombing. I had already been growing to hate myself for the yelling, anxious, critical person I had become [I didn't realize what self-hate was then, now I know that I was hating on myself all the time]. Now, I realize that my soul was yearning to break free from that dark place. I fell into total darkness on that night watching a firefighter carry out a baby girl burned and broken from a daycare center; she was the same age as my baby girl on my lap. I sobbed in despair. And shifted. In my parlance today, I know it was a soul shift, but then I just knew I had to do something to become the person I wanted to be, though I didn't know what that was exactly. DO YOU HAVE A SENSE THAT YOU WANT TO BE SOMEONE DIFFERENT? 

The first bridge I had to cross was Mocking Bridge. I had to crossover from being a person who mocked others who 'claimed' to be happy;  a person who derided others who used words like love and G-d and soul. It was a long journey and it wasn't easy to leave the old familiar Type A behind. "A" was a comfortable cloak I wore, wrapped around me like a warm blanket of perfection and superior thinking. Now I refer to it as the Cloak of Discomfort. GO IN FOR A MINUTE, DO YOU HAVE A CLOAK OF DISCOMFORT?

The next bridge I had to cross was Consciousness Bridge. Going in, seeing what was there, shedding, shedding, shedding the unwanted negative feelings always with the same thought: "I want to feel better, than this." The words in this thought are intentional. Not just 'I want to feel better,' but rather coming to consciousness of what I was feeling in a moment and just simply wanting, CHOOSING, to feel better than that, in that moment. That's all there is. IF YOU GO IN, NOW, AND FEEL DARKNESS, CAN YOU MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO MOVE BEYOND THAT BAD FEELING TO FEELING JUST A LITTLE BETTER; JUST HERE AND NOW, JUST IN THIS MOMENT?

The next bridge that revealed itself to me was Resource Bridge. Having always been the resource to others, and having developed complete self image around that persona, it was hard for me to cross that bridge. I credit my sister, Laura, for leading me to that bridge. I allow myself credit for opening my mind and being brave enough to cross it. There are millions of Tools available to anyone who wants to feel better today. I worked at it until I found the tools that worked for me: the Power of Thought, Positivity, Finding my Heart, Breathing, Mind-Body Connection, Affirmations, Repetition, Baby Steps, Writing, and Prayer. DO YOU EVEN REALIZE THERE ARE TOOLS OUT THERE THAT CAN HELP YOU BE HOW YOU WANT TO BE? CHOOSE ANY ONE, START NOW.

So what happened next? 

I left the Crosswalk of Blame and found the Bridge of Responsibility. I was lashing out blaming everyone who was in my path, well, mostly my husband-who has been with me on my life-journey for about thirty years. I yearned to offer love to him, to our daughters and to others, and in the end I learned that I needed to start with taking Responsibility for my feelings [that was fun, the Pool of Feelings is a whole other story], and to accept the Four Agreements {Don Miguel Ruiz, talk about Repetition-it took me years to finally realize the power of that tiny book]. Why take Responsibility? Because that brings it all back into your control. As long as I blamed others for my mess--it was something 'they' were doing, not 'me'--then it was all out of my control, and of course out-of-control. I lived in an internal mass of out-of-control chaos that I felt I couldn't do anything about. Responsibility was hard because it meant I had to accept that I wasn't perfect [WHAT?]. And I can tell you THAT felt BAD. I think that's when I really started my deepest yearning of 'I want to feel better, than this.' Taking Responsibility, I asked myself 'What can I do about that?' As I practiced two Tools in particular--the Power of Thought/REFRAME and incorporating Positivity in every way into my life--and with Laura's continued love and support, and feeling how it felt to feel better [bad syntax, true phrase], I slowly got to the other side. Now, everything is 100% in my control. I take Responsibility for everything in my life [even when I have my human moments and lapse or fail], I have and hold a Positive outlook, and I honestly, really do feel good almost all of the time. DO YOU FIND YOURSELF BLAMING OTHERS FOR THINGS, OFTEN? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAYING 'IT IS WHAT IT IS?'

....what if it's not?

As I found and used Tools that I could integrate into my Consciousness, I discovered the last bridge, the Bridge of Love. This bridge was a rope bridge. The kind you see swinging silently in the breeze over a lush canyon. It is tantalizing, but when you start across, it sways, leaving you unsettled and unsure. Should I continue on it? Or should I go back to safety? Gingerly placing one foot in front of the other, holding onto the Rails of Positivity, taking Baby Steps, I grew more Confident as I crossed it. I found my Heart along the way and learned what it meant to love myself. Once I passed that place, I moved forward faster loving everyone around me, trusting my heart, and landing in the Field of Joy [the greatest Tool of all]. For me, standing in the Field of Joy represents a success that I had been yearning for as long as I could remember. I wanted to be 'that' or go 'there' or do 'this.' When I landed squarely in the Field of Joy, I finally accepted the success I had already created, and just appreciated that. That's all there is, Now. Living in THAT moment all the time brings you continued success, one moment at a time. Here is what Joy feels like:

NOTE: Are there more Bridges to cross? Certainly. Now, I look for Bridges and risk crossing them knowing the journey is about the beauty of living, of experiencing. I may thrive, I may fail, but along the way I'm committed to being grounded in self, being available to my family and being true to my purpose, helping others find the extraordinary pleasure of getting and being truly OK, and then helping our world using the lens of Philanthropy, love of humankind.

 

COACHING SERVICES

'What are your qualifications?' This is the question that stopped me from calling myself a Coach for years. I'm not Certified, I do not have a Degree in it; who am I to think I can just do this? 

Sheryl Sandberg might say that I'm just 'Leaning In' to a natural gift that I finally decided to recognize. 

How many people do I have to hear tell me: "I've learned more from you in this conversation and I feel better now than after paying thousands for coaches, or, after years of therapy." This happens constantly, and then I wonder: "Why is this person paying another coach thousands and yet feeling better only from conversations with me?" What If I believe them? What If I actually can help someone feel Calm and Joy? What If I believed the ones who tell me THAT instead of the ones who say: 'Who do you think you are to do this?'

Now, I want to be clear--my work is a conversation. I'm not a therapist [though I am married to a wonderful psychologist who spends days and nights helping children feel safe and better, and I've benefited from wonderful therapy myself]. I don't keep notes on people, I don't track things-that's your Responsibility, I'm not approved by any external body. Personal coaching is a service I've decided to launch in response to many who have asked me if they can work with me.

Coaching--connecting deeply, asking, listening, teaching, reviewing and repeating as necessary--is the method I use to work with people through their struggles or unknowns. Using intuitive questions and being willing to dig deep with someone allows me to quickly uncover areas of concern. Then I draw from the myriad of Tools I discovered myself while crossing Resource Bridge! I no longer apply 'shoulds' to people, but rather suggest an alternative way of thinking, of being and help them feel the new way of feeling...I ask 'What If' a lot. That's it. That's all I can say about what I do. Coaching is my method; helping people transform negative or dark feelings into a lightness of being is my outcome. I am not 'certified' with any professional body as a coach. I am not a therapist; my work is not therapy. I see people feel better after talking with me. That's all there is [you'll hear me say that a lot]. 

Personal Intensive

One Month Package

  • One-hour weekly coaching call, total of four sessions
  • Action Notes generated from our call for you to consider/apply
  • Double Q—Quick Question telephone or text access  with me during the month
  • Email up to two hours per week
  • FEE: $1,500*
  • NOTE: One month is plenty to have breakthroughs and make progress; two months is recommended to integrate work into your consciousness.

NOTE: Scheduling and keeping these calls will be up to the client. Work is busy and we’re all human and might forget and rescheduling is permitted, but the success of this Intensive will come from pre-scheduled meetings that you are committed to participate in actively.

* FEE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

 

One-time Coaching Session for Immediate Breakthrough

Many people just need to have a conversation with someone who will help them face something that is otherwise hard to face. I have these conversations frequently -again, using intuitive questioning and active listening-and after, people feel a more clear direction and purpose. Sometimes a single session helps a person understand a different way of existing--a positive way of being--and they decide to work with me in a Personal Intensive, but sometimes a one-time coaching session is all that's needed to push through to a next level, or break through a long-held barrier. This session will be up to 2 hours, less if you desire. FEE: $350.00

If you want to chat, please email me at: slacfre@msn.com, subject: "I'm Ready".

I will not 'sell' or pressure you to 'buy.' I will ask some questions and explore with you to see if I feel I can help. If we agree that you would like to connect, I'll send you an invoice and we'll schedule your conversation to personal freedom as quickly as we can! With love, Susan