“I rock. I love and revere the impact I make.” I stand by this statement and I apologize for nothing. Why should I apologize? I think deeply, I work hard, I am committed to using my skills, talents and heart to create a greater good in our world while I’m in it. And, most of all, I want to role model to younger women the value of seeing one’s own worth and feeling self-confidence which allows greater impact.
As women, we nurture. Whether it is innate, ordained, encouraged or imposed, nurturing others, lifting up or helping others is what we do. While this is a wonderful characteristic, and promulgated by religion, society and our parents as ‘worthy,’ it can also lead down a negative rabbit-hole to low esteem or self-subjugation. Often, we lift up others at the expense of ourselves.
In their book, How Women Rise, Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith expound on this important topic in their chapter about the very first Habit [of twelve habits holding you back from your next raise, promotion, or job]: Reluctance to Claim Your Achievements. In a section titled ‘The Art of Self-Promotion,’ they say: “Speaking up about what you contribute and detailing why you’re qualified does not make you self-centered or self-serving. It sends a signal that you’re ready to rise.” And this: “If you don’t find a way to speak about the value of what you’re doing, you send a message that you don’t put much value on it. And if you don’t value it, why should anyone else?”
Whether you are a mom volunteering as a Girl Scout leader, a corporate VP, or a solopreneur coaching others to live their best life, it is vital to take an intentional stroll around the ‘All about me’ block. NOT arrogant, NOT egotistical, rather it is akin to putting on the oxygen mask first. Self-love-allowing it to be all about you for a while-is an act that will sanction confidence, and as a result-more impact, more uplifting of others and greater results. What is more nurturing than that?
I arrive at the same place we started-”as women, we nurture.” But I arrive there from a position of self-strength, not self-subjugation; lovingly living our own best lives and by example and through our work, helping others do the same. Make this year all about you, think deeply, figure out what matters to you and where you choose to focus your best efforts. Make your own choice to commit and act accordingly; that’s you in full control. Enjoy the feeling.