“Susan, how did you do it!? How did you become this new person, positive and calm all the time now?" These questions followed me for years after I made just one decision. A yearning thought led to a decision to change that sparked my journey of exploration into a new way of being. That thought was: "I want to feel better, than this."
In my thirties and early forties...married, career, house, dog, children, volunteering, religious observance [my chaos list]...I was harried, quick-tempered and dissatisfied most of the time. I over-extended to meet the voice in my head of what I was supposed to do, of the person I was supposed to be; life wasn’t fun, it was a burden. Even in therapy I felt chagrined that I was there for ‘first world problems.’
It was while supporting my younger sister on her own coached journey learning manifestation, that I began to Come to Consciousness [phase 1]. I started out by just listening to her, but I grew and changed when I started hearing her. Coming to awareness of my mind was profound! I learned that I could think an intentional thought, that I could control what I thought about, and that I could implant pleasant and positive thoughts into my brain, about what I wanted instead of what I felt I should think about! Wow, what a relief. Now, dear reader, take a moment to ponder this idea, breathe. What are the thoughts you choose?
Feeling better, rising incrementally to a place of feeling more in control gave me confidence! It was the feeling of being out of control, of being subject to everyone else’s needs/desires that made me unconfident and unbalanced -“Am I doing it right?? How do I know??” This feeling was self-imposed. It was what I saw in my mother! I thought it was my birthright, but as I changed my thoughts, I changed my actions and I grew Confident [phase 2]. Once my sister shared the affirmation ‘the creator creates the creation’ and I practiced and affirmed [repeatedly], my confidence increased. I found my truer self, I studied purposefulness and stayed in that space.
Feeling confident and in control is priceless. It took a period of selfishly going in, of drilling deep, of being all-about-me. My family suffered patiently while I expedited this part of the journey. I staked claim in myself [did you notice that self wasn’t on my chaos list?]. My husband didn’t like it, but still walked beside me. Thank goodness. Today we are stronger than ever. Now, dear reader, take a moment to ponder this idea, breathe. Can you let go and of the old and find strength in the new thoughts?
Then, something wonderful and amazing happened. I realized that there was no ‘There’ to get to; there is only Here and Now...what others called ‘being present!’ I found Calm [phase 3]. Today, I am calm, living in the present, on purpose, in love with myself and others. Now, I help others go through the three phases themselves on the way to finding the impact they are intended to make in our world. What will your legacy be?